Sunday 15th October
My room (a.k.a my personal torture chamber)
6:30pm
I have always asked myself, why do I bother staying in all the time? I should be out seeing my friends, doing something active, and urm… skydiving?
Several annoying minutes later
This is ridiculous!
6:45pm
Absolutely bonkers!
6:50pm
So stupid it’s pathetic!
6:55pm
Did I mention bad?
7:30pm
Just returned from a *ahem* “dinner” of a ham and cheese roll beautifully served up on a saucer, made by the fair hands of… moi.
7:31pm
Actually, thinking about it, it wasn’t that good.
7:35pm
I found three cat hairs in it… we don’t even own cats!
10 seconds later
It could have been Jesse’ (My annoying and mental five year old brother who is always running around pretending to be a car or, sometimes on a bad day or after coke, a fence. He runs around side-ways around people shouting at them to stay in their cage like we are sheep or something that needs a cage! Why would sheep need a cage anyway? Its not like they are a danger to our society… shutup, shutup you stupid imagination!) Anyway where was I? Oh you know what… just forget it. I’m going to bed even though its only 7:45pm…
10 minutes later
Hmm typical, I just got all snugly-snuggled and in comes Jesse pretending to be… hang on… what in the name of my fluffy teddy slippers is he now!?!?
2 minutes and a couple of painful slaps later
Of course! Anyone can see that someone crawling around on four legs waving their bottom around in the air and pausing to eat air suspiciously close to the ground is… a chicken.
A few seconds later
Does he even know what a chicken is?
Obviously not.
I won’t bother calling down to Dad to tell him that he has gone mad (Jesse, not Dad, even though the same rule applies to both loons).
Any normal very-almost-and-nearly-a-teenager-in-five-months would bless their Mother coming in to their room and attempting to take their odd brother out of their room. But see I am not normal, therefore I must get my madness from some other “being”, sadly, my dear Mother and Father.
*Groans*.
Instead they both climb into my bed on one side causing me to tumble out the other. I might just give up and sleep on the floor.
8:00pm
Just saw a huge spider under my bed and screamed. Jumped on windowsill and almost fell out of open window. (In case you are wondering, I am not so skinny that I can slip onto a normal windowsill, as a matter of fact I have a rather large windowsill. Unfortunately. And it has huge gaping windows that Lucy and I sometimes climb out of and sunbath on the flat roof. Parents don’t know yet so they better not come snooping).
9:45pm
Mum and brother finally got up and out of my room. I have the attic as my room, which is very fortunate (But where there is a plus a minus always follows…); my fellow… urm… chums use it as their hide-away slash secret storage. It’s quite useful actually. Mum stashes her books on Understanding the male species under the floorboards, which make interesting light reading. Dad stashes his secret collection of biscuits, lovely midnight snacky snack. If Jesse has hid anything I haven’t found it… yet… uh oh. I bought a mini-fridge and I have coke, lemonade, icing (with rich tea biscuits equals yummy snack), a couple of chocolate bars and a doughnut.
10pm
Might have my doughnut now. Barely had enough dinner to fill my cheeks let alone my stomach and hollow legs…
Maybe a few rich teas and icing…
And two cans of coke…
10:15pm
God I feel sick.
Monday 16th October
Crack of dawn
Why do they call it the ‘crack of dawn’? It’s not like dawn has a crack… oh dear… shutup, shutup brain!
10 seconds later
What does a crack of dawn look like?
Am I being thick?
Yes. Definitely.
Walk up to Lucy’s house
Just eating an apple and galloping up to Lucy’s house at the same time. Yes, galloping and eating an apple. I must be part horse. Maybe I dwell from the North in the land of fields and many horses! I could be a great, great, great, great (I think you get the picture but one more just for fun) great ancestor of Black Beauty.
1 minute later
People are looking at me strangely. At least I’m not neighing and on all fours (both hands and feet on the ground if you thought I had four legs or something stupid like that). If I were doing that I would swiftly have a life membership to a metal asylum…
30 seconds later
I’m galloping and neighing on all fours round to Lucy’s in my school uniform with an apple between my teeth. It’s quite fun actually… uh oh. Hard nut, actually idiot boys came round the corner. Most popular and fittest ever in the school! I stood up so fast that my legs went jellified and I fell head first into a lamppost. Hang on, where did the lamppost come from? Oh yes, when you’re galloping you can only see the round. I hope there are no such thing and floating lampposts.
Yes I have lost my train of thought… why do they call it train of thought… oh shutup, shutup and get of the floor you turkey!
School A-Block corridor waiting for bell to go off
Hanging with me home-ies! Lucy (Bestest mental hairy pally wally!) Jennifer (nicknamed Jenna, gave me a book for world domination, hehe) and Jordan (Probably the least mental person in our group but saying that she did buy a bandanna off some random old woman that smells suspiciously like cookies... hmm, cookies... oops back to the present), Vanessa (nicknamed Little-V or VV because she is amazing) and Moi!
Jordan just put her bandanna on and is dancing around pretending to be a monkey (Queen Idiot strikes again! By the way I am the King idiot but we are not married… yet)
Double Science
Funniest science ever, even if it is double! Our teacher, Mrs Martin, set her hair alight with a Bunsen burner and well, I got the privilege in putting her out with the fire extinguisher. Everything was completely white with foam. We spent the rest of the hour cleaning it all up whilst Miss was in medical ‘recovering’ from her ‘traumatic experience’. Lucy almost peed herself with laughter and had to rush to the little girls room.
Lunch
Everyone in ‘The Corridor’ brought in sweets for a little sweet feast before English. Then we all played 21 dares, a classic game with dares that nobody does and truths that no one admits to. The obvious: Who do you fancy? Who was your first kiss? I dare you to kiss so and so, and so on and so forth. Forth... odd word, the more you say it, the stranger it sounds and you forget how to say it... forth, forth... forth. Nope still doesn’t seem right.
English
Everyone is so hyper. I have to sit next to this really odd kidd called Callum who has a weird obsession with playing with my hair. He said it’s soft and pretended it was his moustache. He is wearing a Mickey Mouse top and jeans with really huge rips in them. When will boys understand style? I thank the Gods of this school that said we didn’t have to wear uniform. Although, Callum really needs to do something with his hair... it’s all floppy and long over his eyes, it’s annoyingly cute.
My room (a.k.a my personal torture chamber)
6:30pm
I have always asked myself, why do I bother staying in all the time? I should be out seeing my friends, doing something active, and urm… skydiving?
Several annoying minutes later
This is ridiculous!
6:45pm
Absolutely bonkers!
6:50pm
So stupid it’s pathetic!
6:55pm
Did I mention bad?
7:30pm
Just returned from a *ahem* “dinner” of a ham and cheese roll beautifully served up on a saucer, made by the fair hands of… moi.
7:31pm
Actually, thinking about it, it wasn’t that good.
7:35pm
I found three cat hairs in it… we don’t even own cats!
10 seconds later
It could have been Jesse’ (My annoying and mental five year old brother who is always running around pretending to be a car or, sometimes on a bad day or after coke, a fence. He runs around side-ways around people shouting at them to stay in their cage like we are sheep or something that needs a cage! Why would sheep need a cage anyway? Its not like they are a danger to our society… shutup, shutup you stupid imagination!) Anyway where was I? Oh you know what… just forget it. I’m going to bed even though its only 7:45pm…
10 minutes later
Hmm typical, I just got all snugly-snuggled and in comes Jesse pretending to be… hang on… what in the name of my fluffy teddy slippers is he now!?!?
2 minutes and a couple of painful slaps later
Of course! Anyone can see that someone crawling around on four legs waving their bottom around in the air and pausing to eat air suspiciously close to the ground is… a chicken.
A few seconds later
Does he even know what a chicken is?
Obviously not.
I won’t bother calling down to Dad to tell him that he has gone mad (Jesse, not Dad, even though the same rule applies to both loons).
Any normal very-almost-and-nearly-a-teenager-in-five-months would bless their Mother coming in to their room and attempting to take their odd brother out of their room. But see I am not normal, therefore I must get my madness from some other “being”, sadly, my dear Mother and Father.
*Groans*.
Instead they both climb into my bed on one side causing me to tumble out the other. I might just give up and sleep on the floor.
8:00pm
Just saw a huge spider under my bed and screamed. Jumped on windowsill and almost fell out of open window. (In case you are wondering, I am not so skinny that I can slip onto a normal windowsill, as a matter of fact I have a rather large windowsill. Unfortunately. And it has huge gaping windows that Lucy and I sometimes climb out of and sunbath on the flat roof. Parents don’t know yet so they better not come snooping).
9:45pm
Mum and brother finally got up and out of my room. I have the attic as my room, which is very fortunate (But where there is a plus a minus always follows…); my fellow… urm… chums use it as their hide-away slash secret storage. It’s quite useful actually. Mum stashes her books on Understanding the male species under the floorboards, which make interesting light reading. Dad stashes his secret collection of biscuits, lovely midnight snacky snack. If Jesse has hid anything I haven’t found it… yet… uh oh. I bought a mini-fridge and I have coke, lemonade, icing (with rich tea biscuits equals yummy snack), a couple of chocolate bars and a doughnut.
10pm
Might have my doughnut now. Barely had enough dinner to fill my cheeks let alone my stomach and hollow legs…
Maybe a few rich teas and icing…
And two cans of coke…
10:15pm
God I feel sick.
Monday 16th October
Crack of dawn
Why do they call it the ‘crack of dawn’? It’s not like dawn has a crack… oh dear… shutup, shutup brain!
10 seconds later
What does a crack of dawn look like?
Am I being thick?
Yes. Definitely.
Walk up to Lucy’s house
Just eating an apple and galloping up to Lucy’s house at the same time. Yes, galloping and eating an apple. I must be part horse. Maybe I dwell from the North in the land of fields and many horses! I could be a great, great, great, great (I think you get the picture but one more just for fun) great ancestor of Black Beauty.
1 minute later
People are looking at me strangely. At least I’m not neighing and on all fours (both hands and feet on the ground if you thought I had four legs or something stupid like that). If I were doing that I would swiftly have a life membership to a metal asylum…
30 seconds later
I’m galloping and neighing on all fours round to Lucy’s in my school uniform with an apple between my teeth. It’s quite fun actually… uh oh. Hard nut, actually idiot boys came round the corner. Most popular and fittest ever in the school! I stood up so fast that my legs went jellified and I fell head first into a lamppost. Hang on, where did the lamppost come from? Oh yes, when you’re galloping you can only see the round. I hope there are no such thing and floating lampposts.
Yes I have lost my train of thought… why do they call it train of thought… oh shutup, shutup and get of the floor you turkey!
School A-Block corridor waiting for bell to go off
Hanging with me home-ies! Lucy (Bestest mental hairy pally wally!) Jennifer (nicknamed Jenna, gave me a book for world domination, hehe) and Jordan (Probably the least mental person in our group but saying that she did buy a bandanna off some random old woman that smells suspiciously like cookies... hmm, cookies... oops back to the present), Vanessa (nicknamed Little-V or VV because she is amazing) and Moi!
Jordan just put her bandanna on and is dancing around pretending to be a monkey (Queen Idiot strikes again! By the way I am the King idiot but we are not married… yet)
Double Science
Funniest science ever, even if it is double! Our teacher, Mrs Martin, set her hair alight with a Bunsen burner and well, I got the privilege in putting her out with the fire extinguisher. Everything was completely white with foam. We spent the rest of the hour cleaning it all up whilst Miss was in medical ‘recovering’ from her ‘traumatic experience’. Lucy almost peed herself with laughter and had to rush to the little girls room.
Lunch
Everyone in ‘The Corridor’ brought in sweets for a little sweet feast before English. Then we all played 21 dares, a classic game with dares that nobody does and truths that no one admits to. The obvious: Who do you fancy? Who was your first kiss? I dare you to kiss so and so, and so on and so forth. Forth... odd word, the more you say it, the stranger it sounds and you forget how to say it... forth, forth... forth. Nope still doesn’t seem right.
English
Everyone is so hyper. I have to sit next to this really odd kidd called Callum who has a weird obsession with playing with my hair. He said it’s soft and pretended it was his moustache. He is wearing a Mickey Mouse top and jeans with really huge rips in them. When will boys understand style? I thank the Gods of this school that said we didn’t have to wear uniform. Although, Callum really needs to do something with his hair... it’s all floppy and long over his eyes, it’s annoyingly cute.
But no way do I fancy him! No way. Ever!
Oh wait, that was a lie...
Haha! Almost got you! That was a lie too!
Nope still lying...
After a while this could get confusing...
6pm
Megan (my little sister) is playing imaginary friends. She’s 12. The other day, I was taking the mick out of her. It was at the table and we were doing impressions of people and I said:
“I’m gonna be 18 and pregnant and move out in my house with millions and millions of pounds because I won the lottery and me and my baby and my invisible friend Hannah are gonna empty my fridge and then go shopping, with my fridge, in my house, and my millions of pounds. 18, pregnant, baby, Hannah and my fridge in my house. So, yeah!”
Megan was laughing so much. It was quite an accurate impression if you want my (not to humble) opinion.
6:30pm
I’ve been texting David (tres tres lush and a la gorgeous like cheddar!) and he has invited me to the cinema tomorrow! No idea what we’ll see, he said it’s a surprise, and he is paying. Omg! I had no idea he even liked me! This is good news. Omg, what if we hold hands in the cinema... this could be either awesome or extremely awkward!
Oh God what do I wear? Umm... skinny jeans? And... umm... will we like, share popcorn or something? Off subject! Outfit! Umm... a top? Well, obviously, can’t just go in my bra... umm... nope that’s defo not an option.
6:35pm – searching wardrobe
(Mental note to self- not a check top, I wear those on like every date I’ve ever been on with my previous boyfriends, I need to change this pattern). I have so many summer tops. I have no idea which one!
At least I don’t need a bag, amazing things pockets are. Too
much to plan out, I bet he is just like ‘Meh whatever’ throw on some outfit on
the day whether it matches or not. Shall I straighten my hair? Yes it looks
cute like that! And whatever happens... rember... (it would be good if I knew
how to spell that word. Googling it... remember, that’s how it’s spelt!)
Anyway, remember...
THE MOUSTACHE MADE ME DO IT! As Little V would say. Off my train of subjects thoughts. Like I said to Lucy and Jordan ‘I am 5 mental age’ (which yes doesn’t make sense). It’s no wonder I’m single as a pringle in a mental home that has a thing with keeping one pringle in a tube because it will like, drive them insane. I am going insane!
9:05pm
*sigh* casually plucking my eyebrows with a face mask on. Got to clear face of impurities as the packet says. Jordan was telling me that Jennifer is going to ‘accidently’ forget to put all the spaces in on her English essay! I love Jennifer. The world domination book is coming in handy. It’s good for logging in our Costa coffee dates and important other stuffs such as national odd day (every 22nd of every month we have an odd day where we wear odd earrings, odd socks, write opposite handed ect), our random competitions and other strange little things like that.
THE MOUSTACHE MADE ME DO IT! As Little V would say. Off my train of subjects thoughts. Like I said to Lucy and Jordan ‘I am 5 mental age’ (which yes doesn’t make sense). It’s no wonder I’m single as a pringle in a mental home that has a thing with keeping one pringle in a tube because it will like, drive them insane. I am going insane!
9:05pm
*sigh* casually plucking my eyebrows with a face mask on. Got to clear face of impurities as the packet says. Jordan was telling me that Jennifer is going to ‘accidently’ forget to put all the spaces in on her English essay! I love Jennifer. The world domination book is coming in handy. It’s good for logging in our Costa coffee dates and important other stuffs such as national odd day (every 22nd of every month we have an odd day where we wear odd earrings, odd socks, write opposite handed ect), our random competitions and other strange little things like that.
I remember once when
Lucy and I ate 12 pears in one day each for a competition, but we got to the 12th
one and felt really sick so we stopped and started on the apples... we ate 6
and thought we were going die so we stopped.
5 minutes later
My brain is frazzling, I’m going to bed.
1 minute later
Yayness, Megan has decided to
invade my room with all her 12 year old glory.
10 seconds later
Why is she going through my draws?
I have a slight moment of realisation when I realise that she is not physic and
can’t read my mind...
“Megan, why are you going through
my draws?” She doesn’t reply and turns round and walks out of my room. Odd.
Tuesday 17th October
Teacher training day
Why do they have teacher training days in the middle of the week like that? It’s just not right!
1 minute later
Not that I’m complaining or anything! Have as many training days as you want. Which would probably be a lot because then they might actually get it in their heads that we don’t care about physics and why we don’t float off the Earth.
10 minutes later
Omg! My date with David! In my thoughts of sleepyness I had
forgotten about the fit master himself!
2 minutes later
I’m so ashamed with myself I’m rocking backwards and
forwards on the floor crying my little heart out...
20 seconds later
Not really, I’m getting dressed, don’t want to be late.
3 minutes later
What did I say I was going to wear? Oh yes, skinny jeans
and... a top... oh yes that’s as far as my
magnificent mind got...
10 seconds later
Oh god, what top to wear? At this rate I will have to enter
my mind palace and that would be effort...
Enters mind palace
Mind palace says to wear a black strappy top with my blue
zip up hoodie. I like it. Thank you mind palace.
I am suddenly just aware that I am not only rambling but I
am having a conversation with a house inside my mind...
I need to be locked up.
1 minute later
Shoes? Can’t go barefoot...
I’m going to straighten my hair...
10 minutes later
Right I am ready to go!
Wait...
I need shoes...
I can’t go barefoot...
20 seconds later
Didn’t I tell myself this 10 minutes ago?
Standing outside
cinema waiting for David
Holy furry pyjama bottoms it is a bit chilly out today. I
hope David doesn’t stand me up.
Eeeww, my breath smells of toast...
Emergency tac of the tic rescue (to normal people known as
tic-tacs but I like so spice things up... such as: polos are now ‘lo of the po’s’
and chewing gum is ‘gum of the chew’, yeah I have no life)
5 minutes later
Phew he is here, wow he looks... fit...
I’ve gone all droopy...
Am I drooling?
“Hey” He says... wow his voice is so lush and dreamy... I
just kinda stare into his eyes for a moment then finally spit some words out of
my macaroni and cheese eating hole.
“Hey” I manage to recover and flash him a cheeky smile. He
grins.
“You funny, I’ll grab the tickets, get us some popcorn babe”
He handed me a fiver and I walked over to the stand.
10 seconds later
Did he call me babe?
5 seconds later
Well, I was right about the popcorn thing...
10 seconds later
He called me babe...
*Melts*
UPDATE THIS TOO PLEASE KITTY-KAT!!!
ReplyDeletehehe pleaseeeeeeee xx Jenna xx